Thursday, August 13, 2009

Marriage Matters Thursdays!

Jason and I celebrated four years of marriage on May 28. The past four years we have learned many things about each other and the vocation of marriage. We have discovered that marriage is full of great joys, but that there are also many struggles. We have learned that God must be the center of our marriage, and that prayer is essential! We have also come to realize the importance of self-sacrifice and unselfish love.

Back when Jason and I were engaged we talked with a priest who gave us a wonderful piece of advice. He told us that each day, at the end of the day, we should ask ourselves what we did for our spouse that day spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The challenge here is serving your spouse in these ways in the way that they personally need. This means thinking about how your spouse needs to feel loved spiritually, emotionally, and physically and then loving them in that way, even if it is not how you would prefer to show love. Let me share with you an example. I know that all Jason wants when he comes home from a long day at work is a hug and kiss. By greeting him with these things I can make his day and fill him up emotionally and physically. I know that these are the actions that make him feel loved and appreciated. Now what about spiritually. For me this means praying and interceding for Jason throughout the day. I try to offer little prayers throughout the day for God to guide him and sustain him. Now, honestly, I do not always succeed daily at serving Jason spiritually, emotionally and physically, but I do make an effort, and I pray that with God's grace I can learn to love and serve Jason with a more perfect and unselfish love.

I am going to include a list of ideas for how to serve your spouse spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I know for me sometimes it is just helpful to see some concrete examples.

Physical love: Hold hands, cuddle, a kiss, a hug, cook his favorite dinner, pack his lunch, surprise him by completing one of his household tasks (taking out trash, mowing)

Emotional love: Send an email, write a note of appreciation, surprise phone call, quality time together

Spiritual love: Pray and offer sacrifices for one another

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