I joyfully entrust her soul to Heaven's glory, and I surrender her to Jesus with open arms, knowing she was never only mine. Yes, I am heart-broken. The grief is real. It is horrible, and it comes in waves. Some days are good. Some days are bad. But, Jesus walks with me through every day. And I have hope. Hope knowing I will meet my baby girl one day in Paradise. Until then, she holds a unique place in our family life. She joins two siblings as pure intercessors for our family. Help us become saints sweet children, so that we can worship our Almighty King one day along with you!
Josephine Francis (10/7/11), William Blaise (2/11/12) and Teresa Benedicta (12/6/13), Pray for us!
Below I want to share a reflection I wrote surrounding my miscarriage. Beauty can always be found in the Cross, we just have to pray for the grace to see it and accept it.
Beauty in the Storm
Ice storms potentially invite us to view exceptional beauty. Though the storms seem harsh and inconvenient at times, and even causes chaos and brokenness, when we stop and look at nature amidst the storm we can see something beautiful. Have you ever stopped and looked at a tree following an ice storm? Trees look stunning and magnificent when the pristine ice covers their branches. And when the light catches the ice it is simply breathtaking!
I find it to be no coincidence that when I awoke on the morning of December 6, 2013, I found the predicted ice storm had come to Little Rock. I was also not surprised to find that my miscarriage was beginning. God called to me that morning. I woke up at 5 am and made my way down to the dining room for some much needed prayer time. I knew I was going to need all the stamina I could muster to face the day. It was so dark, but I decided to open the blinds to find a nice focal point for prayer. What I found was remarkable. Outside the window stood a beautiful little tree. Its branches were bare, but covered with a layer of crystal clear ice. And what was even more striking was the way the tree sparkled in the moon light.
I am like the tree. I am in an ice storm. Though my trial seems harsh, cold and chaotic, when I stop and reflect on it, it is making me more beautiful. Yes, I may lose a few limbs. I need to be pruned. Please Jesus, remove my imperfections. I want to be your most beautiful bride with no blemishes. Cut my rotten limbs from me so that I may grow into the woman you have created. If this miscarriage allows me to become more beautiful, to love you more, to participate and share your sufferings so that I begin to look more like you, then “thy will be done.” I will not fear or run from the storm. No, I will stop, look at the beauty the storm can create, and let the light of your love and grace make me sparkle. My roots are deep in you Jesus, and a little ice from a storm will not kill me. It will only make me stronger and more beautiful!
****And if you don't mind please offer a prayer up for our family as we bury our little girl and celebrate a Mass in honor of her life on Monday, January 27, 2014! Thanks!****