Easter Blessings

Sometimes I am stunned by the words my children speak.  This morning I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that God spoke directly to me through my daughter.  Her words pierced a part of my soul that so desperately needs the light of Christ. 

During Brunch this morning, we told the kids that before we went to Easter Dinner with our friends we were going to visit the grave of Josephine, William and Teresa Benedicta.  I had some white cloth I wanted to place on the cross marking their grave.  A little while later, while I was helping to dress Clare for the day, this conversation occurred:

Clare:  Mom, are you still so sad about the babies?

Me:  (tears beginning to fill my eyes) Yes.

Clare:  Are you sad because they aren’t feasting with us here today?

Me: (pause…deep breath...trying to hold the tears in) Yes, I miss them so much, Clare. 

(A minute or so of silence.)

Clare:  Mom, I know you are sad.  I see you cry a lot.  But Mom, you know they are having a bigger feast in Heaven, right now, with Jesus.  (Said with a glimmer in her eyes and a big smile!)

Me: (No use holding the tears back now) Actually Clare, I needed that reminder. That is such a beautiful thing you spoke to mommy, especially on Easter.  Thank you for listening to Jesus, in your heart, and sharing those words.

I still have much to learn on this journey.  I still have much healing that needs to be done. But, our good Lord used a child this morning to remind me that as I continue to work through my deep sorrow, fear, unfulfilled desires, and pain, that there is still hope. As much as I long for my children, the ones I was never able to know in this world, I need to rejoice and find peace in knowing that they have already reached the goal!  They are partaking in a feast much greater than any I could give them here on Earth.  And isn’t that what I should desire for my children as their mother?  I have been lost in a sea of grief, obsessed with what I have lost and forgetting what I have in fact gained.  I have gained three little saints. And today, of all days, I am reminded that Jesus conquered death, and so one day I will be able to see my children again.

Please pray for me.  Pray that I can hold onto the truths I know, but too often do not grasp on to in my heart.  Pray that I can be patient with myself.  Pray that I can be patient as we wait for God’s timing in blessing us with new life, and that I can be at peace each time he chooses not to give new life. Please pray that my heart can truly only desire what God desires for me. And please pray that I can fully embrace and practice what Saint Augustine reminds us, "We are an Easter people and alleluia is our song!"

 Happy Easter dear friends and family!  Be assured of my prayers for you!!

All Life is Worthy of Celebration

I would like to introduce you to Teresa Benedicta Pohlmeier, our newest saint in Heaven!  Isn't she beautiful?!?!  Life is beautiful,precious and sacred.  I was blessed to carry her in my womb for almost 13 weeks, and her heart beat within me for nine weeks.  She brought me so much joy and happiness those few weeks.  I didn't care at all that I was sick or tired, I was so excited for this new little soul.  I had so many dreams and hopes for her, and was already weaving her into our family life in my mind.  She was never to be born into this world though. 

 

I joyfully entrust her soul to Heaven's glory, and I surrender her to Jesus with open arms, knowing she was never only mine.  Yes, I am heart-broken.  The grief is real.  It is horrible, and it comes in waves.  Some days are good.  Some days are bad.  But, Jesus walks with me through every day.  And I have hope.  Hope knowing I will meet my baby girl one day in Paradise.  Until then, she holds a unique place in our family life.  She joins two siblings as pure intercessors for our family.  Help us become saints sweet children, so that we can worship our Almighty King one day along with you!

Josephine Francis (10/7/11), William Blaise (2/11/12) and Teresa Benedicta (12/6/13), Pray for us!

Below I want to share a reflection I wrote surrounding my miscarriage.  Beauty can always be found in the Cross, we just have to pray for the grace to see it and accept it.

Beauty in the Storm

Ice storms potentially invite us to view exceptional beauty.  Though the storms seem harsh and inconvenient at times, and even causes chaos and brokenness, when we stop and look at nature amidst the storm we can see something beautiful.   Have you ever stopped and looked at a tree following an ice storm?  Trees look stunning and magnificent when the pristine ice covers their branches.  And when the light catches the ice it is simply breathtaking! 

I find it to be no coincidence that when I awoke on the morning of December 6, 2013, I found the predicted ice storm had come to Little Rock. I was also not surprised to find that my miscarriage was beginning.  God called to me that morning.  I woke up at 5 am and made my way down to the dining room for some much needed prayer time.  I knew I was going to need all the stamina I could muster to face the day.  It was so dark, but I decided to open the blinds to find a nice focal point for prayer.  What I found was remarkable.  Outside the window stood a beautiful little tree.  Its branches were bare, but covered with a layer of crystal clear ice.   And what was even more striking was the way the tree sparkled in the moon light. 

I am like the tree.  I am in an ice storm.  Though my trial seems harsh, cold and chaotic, when I stop and reflect on it, it is making me more beautiful.  Yes, I may lose a few limbs.  I need to be pruned.  Please Jesus, remove my imperfections.  I want to be your most beautiful bride with no blemishes.  Cut my rotten limbs from me so that I may grow into the woman you have created.  If this miscarriage allows me to become more beautiful, to love you more, to participate and share your sufferings so that I begin to look more like you, then “thy will be done.”  I will not fear or run from the storm.  No, I will stop, look at the beauty the storm can create, and let the light of your love and grace make me sparkle.  My roots are deep in you Jesus, and a little ice from a storm will not kill me. It will only make me stronger and more beautiful!

****And if you don't mind please offer a prayer up for our family as we bury our little girl and celebrate a Mass in honor of her life on Monday, January 27, 2014!  Thanks!****

Quotable Kids

Summer is going by all too quickly.  We have been busy, busy, busy.  Currently, we are in Ohio and seem to be going non-stop everyday.  With all the hustle and bustle, blogging has been taking a backseat.  Although, there are a couple conversations lately that have been too good not to share.  Enjoy!

Conversation 1

Me:  Dominic, what is my name?

Dominic:  Mom.

Me:  What is my other name?

Dominic:  Erin

Me:  Good Job!  Now what is my job?  (I was hoping he would say teacher.)

Dominic:  Changing poopy diapers.

Nice, Dominic!! 

Conversation 2

We have been going to Kings Island almost every day while in Ohio.  Today, I took the older ones for some special time.  Our last ride before leaving was the Viking Fury.  It is a Viking Ship that swings.  If you sit in the top row you gain quite some height.  Needless to say, I thought they might be a tad bit afraid.

Me:  Isaac and Clare my arm will be around you, so you do not need to worry about anything or feel too scared.  I am right here.

Isaac:  (Removing my arm from around him)  Mom, you can just take care of yourself.  I'm good!

Oh, my heart!!  When son did you get so big?

Link Reset

If you tried to read this post, and noticed the link did not work.  It is working now.  Guess that's what happens when you blog while nursing a baby!

Ironic

Just going to throw it out there, but does this article, or rather the letter mentioned in the article, seem a little reminiscent of the Declaration of Independence.  Ironic, that this is issued just two days prior to our celebration of Independence from Britain?!  Not trying to be a conspiracy theorist, but the parallels were too striking to pass up!

In the words of Father Terence Henry, "The age of casual Catholicism is over, the age of heroic Catholicism has begun. We can no longer be Catholics by accident, but instead be Catholics by conviction. ”

Fourth Child Blues

When you are a fourth child, you learn to make do with all circumstances....like when all the rooms are full and you need a nap, so you become demoted to the entryway!

Three Years Old

Birthdays are a really big deal in our family. I have tried hard to establish traditions that the children can look forward to year after year on their special day.  I love spending the day affirming the birthday kid and showering them with extra love and treats. Here is Dominic's day in pictures:

The night before the birthday, after the kids go to bed, I transform the kitchen by breaking out the birthday tablecloth and banner.  I also display the cake, or in this case race car cupcakes, and surround them with the birthday presents and kid's favorite candies.  The kids also receive a special birthday balloon, which is attached to the birthday seat of honor!

Dominic's present:  The Little Tikes Grill.  I bought it probably 7 months ago on sale for 24.99.  It was a steal!!

LOVED IT!!

Anxiously awaiting present time!

The traditional birthday pancake.  His is shaped like a 3 since that is what age he turned!

I don't have any pictures, but another part of the day is being able to pick all the meals.  The kids also get a special date.  Dominic chose a McDonald's Happy Meal date.  The two big kids are at VBS all week, so we had an extra special date with daddy and were able to eat Downtown!!  For dinner Dominic decided on tacos!!

CAKE TIME!!!!

Extra special ice-cream treat.  Dominic has severe food allergies (dairy, egg, peanut).  He always begs for ice-cream, but the dairy free kind is SO SO expensive.  Tonight I splurged and he had chocolate almond ice-cream. 

Tuckered out from the long, but fun day!!

                              We love you, Dominic Vianney!!!

The Chronicles of the Dutch Oven

So, if you know my dad, you know that in his garage you can find just about anything you could ever need or want.  And so a few years ago, I raided the garage in hopes of locating some camping gear.  On one of the many shelves of stuff I found a beautiful cast iron dutch oven, patented in 1910.  I imagine this probably belonged to one of my grandmothers. The pan needed a little work, since it had rusted. But, with a lot of scrubbing and a some good old-fashioned cast iron seasoning I restored it to just like new!  Thanks, You Tube, for all the help!! 

So I decided this past weekend I would start to practice using it. I love to cook, but cooking over an open-fire, well it can be a challenge.  So here is my first attempt at open-fire dutch oven cooking.

Homemade Cornbread

Step 1:  Preheat dutch oven on coals.

  
After pan is preheated.  You place cornbread mix (I made mine ahead of time and then just added the wet ingredients) in the lightly greased pan.  Place the pan on top of 10-12 hot coals and then add 10-12 hot coals on top.  Note: only about 6 coals fit on the top of my oven.  Then wait 30 minutes...or at least that is what the recipe I was following said.  The thing about cooking in a dutch oven is checking on your items is difficult since every time you open the lid you expose your food to smoke and ash!

So how did it turn out...

Top looks okay...maybe a little brown

Bottom is completely black...sigh...  next time not so many coals on bottom, and maybe only about 25 minutes or so.

But....the middle and top was perfect consistency and so with a little bread shaving....

We have cornbread!!!

  It wasn't perfect, but it was edible.  Next time I will get it.  Anyone have any good recipes for the dutch oven? 

Camp Pohlmeier

I have not forgotten about blogging. In fact I have a huge list of upcoming posts.  Life has just been busy.  School has been out for a week, and we have been busy readjusting to our new schedule.  In exciting news though, we are camping with our best friends this weekend and with Uncle Erik the following weekend.  So, I am busy busy busy with preparations.  Here is my new favorite tool...my master camping list.  Hoping this saves time in the long run.  Be on the lookout for more tips on camping with tots in the future.  Until then, enjoy my new favorite OCD creation...

Pohlmeier Master Camping List

Feel free to copy and use for your own purposes!!

Name That Baby...

 

Let's play a fun game of Name That Baby.   Identify if each baby below is Dominic or Vincent.  Good luck!

Baby A

Baby B

Baby C

Baby D

Baby E

Potty Mouth

Yesterday Dominic decided he wanted to wear underwear, and so potty training began.  I won't bore you with all the details of the training, but he is doing great!  However, a little incident today is just too good not to share...

Let me paint the picture for you.

I have just taken Dominic to the toilet, and the the two big kids (Dominic and Clare) decide they want to play outside.  GREAT!!!  :)  Vincent is asleep, so I decide this is the perfect time to catch a five minute shower.  All of sudden, Dominic comes racing into my bathroom, where I am showering, announcing he has to go potty.  Sigh...I literally just took him three minutes earlier. So from the shower I tell him to hop on my toilet and do his business.  So, he hops, cross legged onto the toilet.  Becuase you know he simply cannot hold it and his bladder may just explode.  I tell him to sit there, point down, and wait until it all comes out.  I then decided that now would be a good time for me to rinse the shampoo out of my hair, since that was what I was doing before being interrupted.  That is when I hear Dominic yelling, "Uh-OH!" over and over again.  I peak around the corner only to see what looks like a stream of water coming from a water fountain being depostited into Dominic's mouth, all over his face and my bathroom.  Only what I was seeing was not water.
Fantastic Son, you just coined an entire  new meaning to the phrase "Potty Mouth!"

Pea Popsicles

I will let you know how they go with the kids!!

Denial

Vincent will be six months on Sunday.  I cannot believe it.  I have been postponing it for a couple weeks, but this morning it was time to give him cereal for the first time.  He has been showing all the classic signs of being ready for some food...supported sitting, reaching for food and drink, etc....I was just not ready.   He took it like a champ though, and is already ready for more.  Such a Big Boy!!!

These are my people...and I love them!

I had a wonderful Mother's Day spending time with my beautiful family and doing the activities I enjoy most!!  God is good, and I am blessed! 

 

Pictures before Mass

Mass was followed by a delicious egg and blueberry pancake brunch prepared by my Husband!

Family Hike at Burns Park

 

After the hike, I was sent off to Panera for some alone time and a good book, and then returned home to the fantasitc dinner below: Carbonara, salad, bread and wine!  Did I mention the kids were in bed, too?!  A quiet dinner...AMAZING!!

And as if all of the above were not enough, my sweet husband did shadow silhouettes of all my children. (He is very artistic!) AND he bought me a gift certificate for a spa pedicure!  SO BLESSED!!!

“We would like to pay homage to all brave mothers who dedicate themselves to their own family without reserve, who suffer in giving birth to their children and who are ready to make any effort, to face any sacrifice, in order to pass on to them the best of themselves ... How hard they have to fight against difficulties and dangers! How frequently they are called to face genuine ‘wolves’ determined to snatch and scatter the flock! And these heroic mothers do not always find support in their surroundings. On the contrary, the cultural models frequently promoted and broadcast by the media do not encourage motherhood. In the name of progress and modernity, the values of fidelity, chastity, sacrifice, in which a host of Christian wives and mothers have distinguished and continue to distinguish themselves, are presented as obsolete. As a result, a woman who is determined to be consistent with her principles often feels deeply alone, alone in her love which she cannot betray, and to which she must remain faithful. Her guiding principle is Christ, who has revealed the love which the Father bestows on us. A woman who believes in Christ finds a powerful support precisely in this love that bears everything. It is a love that enables her to believe that all she does for a child conceived, born, adolescent or adult, she does at the same time for a child of God. As Saint John states in today’s reading: ‘We are called children of God, and that is what we are’ (1 John 3:1).”  Blessed John Paul II